My Immortal the Sequel: Immortality Lost
by weregrrl
Summary: *PARODY!ALERT* Yes, this is based on THE My Immortal. The spelling and grammar is atrocious, as expected. I was suckered into uploading it for Lindzey because of her lack of FF win. Watch as Eboby finally rids Hogwarts of the language spell it's been undr
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I would like to DENY any responsibility for, at least, the first two chapters. Those are ALL Lindzey's doing. The credit must go to her. **CLAP FOR LINDZEY! **As you may have guessed, this is a collab between two slightly deranged teenage fans of Tara's. WE WUV YOO TARAKINS! Seriously though, she killed our minds and our grammar. We're both running on Pepsi Max.

Neither of us own Harry Potter, My Immortal (the song, or that...THING!), and even our appartment is rented, so please, PLEASE don't sue! (geddit? Lyk Mary Sue?)

I'll shut up now...

Chapter 45_-_What_Have_You_Done_Now

A/N: where to start…..oh, I know!111

"_Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried._

_I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent._

_"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted._

Voldxmort screamed in agony, I could see the fear and terror in his eyes…..it was so sexy that I couldn't bear to watch him scream in pain….i only wanted him to be screaming my name when he is pressed sexily against me while we do it.

As I let go of my hold I said "why the fuck am I on the good side..?" Drako and Dummdledork stared at me, Snape had an evily sexy smirk on his face…..he looked so hot (A/N: ;D)

"What do you mean Enoby? Don't you love me anymore? Is this because I cry like a little spoild brat?"Darko said as he locked at me wif his red eyes (he had a sever case of pink eye cus he sucked a lot of cock) they were filling up with tears of blood that where ready to explode down his face (cus it's totally logical to hav explosive tears of your own blood with out being dropped into biohazardous material)

I looked at him sexily "because whenever I watch horror movies I root for the killer, in dracular I want him to rip off his shiort and cut off van helsanings head, I love thje darkness and loath the light you gay faggh" my logic was undenighabble.

"you mother fucking bitch Enoggy!111" he shouted at me while tears of blood ran down his face

"yeh…" I nodded "..kinda am cus willow is actually your mother and I've been screwing her on the side!111" I shooted back angrrrily

Every one turned to face willow in shock, she was wearing tight black leather pants, a low cut and see through black l;acey top so you could see her black leather bra.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way…but it's true.." she said in a deeply saddened, yet sexy voice.

"but how?" draco questioned as he was in shock (due to the completely logically and totally irrelevant plot twister that makes complete cents due to who the author is)

"I'm a timtravelar, I tavlewif either v mortymcfliay or the doctor." She said confusingly sexy

"butt…..buttt….but I fucked you!111" draco said surprised by his promisqueity

"but you never told me this ellenore." snap said in disbelief….ellenorore looked at snape, then turned to severousands Lucian who where quietly making out in the corner. Then Lucian turned to her

"so that would explain why you look fimilure" Lucian said as he stood up, walked ovr to ellanore and pulled her into the coner and all 3 of them make out.

"what the fuck are you doing!111"shooted….RON!1111111111111111

"don'typoumeenwhoo the fuck am I doing? Hopefully u l8r 2nite." I saids in a sexy goffic voice

"only if u wear that unbelieveablysexxyy maids out fit" he said seductively as he gentaly brushed my urm up nd down, it mad the left side of my pale white body go all tingly (because red heads are the sex….apertfrm hot emo guys)

Just then the harry potter poppet pals rang out….it was vampiersfone.

"just fucking answer it!111" I yield at hgim sexily

"fine…" he said aggresivly "it's a txt from-"

A/N: sorry children…that's all we have tim for 2today. Damn!111

A/N: **THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A PARODY**, for those who **DIDN'T NOTICE**. Well, maybe Lindzey was trying her best...

Don't kill me Lindz! Ilu!

~Lucy


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 46

A/N: STFU preppzzzzz11111111111

"just fucking answer it!111" I yield at hgim sexily

"fine…" he said aggresivly "it's a txt from facebook" vampire said happily

"really? Status or comment" I asked intreged

"lol…it's voldxmortal. He wants to know if I can join you two for drinks l8r to talk about how to dispose of a rubbish fanfic called 'my immortal'he thinks thjat we should wipe it from existence." He told me sexily.

"what time? Is six alright for you?" I asked

"sorry…I have a date with lumpkin…s3vin?" he replied

"thatwoun't give me much time to get ready after fucking draco….make it 7:30?" I told him

"ok" he typed into his phone, "done"

"so where wer we again?" I asked "oh, yes…now I remember." I waved my wound and then my vibrateing broomstick came in through the window, I quickly hopped on and casted a spell to create a dragon.

**A/N: I would like to warn you, I'm up next. Trust me, scream for your momma while you can :/**

**~Lucy**


	3. Chapter 3

**It Begins...**

Chapter 47: Centaur: Onli OK on a Tussday.

A/N: Oh godjezuzmugglefukkar! It's MY turn…

_I waved my wound and then my vibrateing broomstick came in through the window, I quickly hopped on and casted a spell to create a dragon._

"Her's my going away present!" I shooted at Gandulf as I left the skull (geddit? Cos I shuld b ded?). I wold rely miss those guys when I want to China. I hoped Sparky (I namd hum dat cuz hes can breeth fir) culd chiir dose lozers up win I waz sexily gone.

I flu of to sea wuu I culd hav the sexi tim with wile Snoopy gut reedy fur hour meitning with Voldetrix. I begun to thunk aboot how I gut rapper up in this stoopad relity tv shuw aneeway. Jus den, I erd a cry frum behind me. It was…LEGOLAZ!

"Tarenomy!" he shooted cleer into da ayr, "I'b been lurking for you ebveywherre!"

"You'b been lukking fo me?". I frowned, "Why wereyou looking fowee me?"

"becuz….." he sed 'Im in luv with you! Ur soooo sexy and gotyhijk! I went you dfrur me!"

I luked at him in a shooked way.

"I-I nvr new ou loved me Darko?" I questioned quiziczlly.

"Plz," he saed, "Cal me Donny."

He wuz 6ft 5 wit lung perple har and a buw and arror on his back. He waz lyk a god, 'cept I'm gottik, so I hate god. He wuaz a DEEMU0N!

"Ok," I blushd, "I love you too"

He smilled.

"That's good to know," he said as he floo away on his magic cloud. I sighed. Goku waz sooooo hott!

I soon relized that I was nut gin to fing anyone to have the sexi thing with (unlezz it was with centaur, but that's onli OK on tusdays, you sikk pervert!),, so I headed pver to the Dripping Seaman(the new bar in Hogmedeigon Alley since the Leaky Cauldron burnt down from an amp setting alight. R.I.P. MCR) and weighed for the Phantom to arrive.

Minutes la8r, he burst through the door wearing his sexy half-mask (which covred up his deformity he gut when his pink eye got more infected with a mgical STD).

"Ebomby!" he shooted, "Morty mcFlie is dead!"

A/N: Take that yo PREEEEEEEEPPPPPZZZZZ!111!1!

Love,

LUCY ~


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Still Lucy :D

Chapter 48:

"_Ebomby!" he shooted, "Morty mcFlie is dead!" _

"WAT?1" I shouted, knuckling over a chair as I stud.

"It's ture!" he cried, "He got stuck in tim, and when he tried to get out, TIM SWALLOWED HIM WHOLE!11!"

"NOOOOOOO!1!" I yielded, "He was my only farther!"

I fell to the ground and cried. It made me nauticous because I was crying out all my blood. I cried sum moar.

:suddenly, Vampyr walkid in an swa me on da floor." EBONY! He shooted, "Whyr u crying?"

I luked up at him with depression filde eyes.

"Becos I'm always cring you!" I WA S SO sad thad no 1 understood me. Vampir looked at Vodderrmat and asced, "Satyr! Wat is rong wit ebeoby?1"

"Sheis having a metal breakdance becos tim keeled her farther"

"SHE'S having a mental breakdown?1!1!" he creamed?

Mortitia wouldhave wanted you to neove on sad Voldetrix.

"ok' I said. I stuud up off the ground and hided my emoticons for luther. I coud cri when thy buk of my immurtle waz ded. I turnd to Voldemint. Snap wolked in.

"wut is it you wnted tuh tolk aboot wit us?" I asxed, shreksily.

Voldemurt lodded.

"I wanhed to talk 2 u about somefang (geddit? Cos im a tigger?)" he talked, "I discovered risentlie a bok that iz conTROLLing out grimer gudness. It iz culled… … ….. … …"

"SOMGZ!111!" WE ALL SHOOTED.

"are you being serious?1 THE mistery book of BRAYL is coursing us to not speak in an understandbl way for oder pplez?" fasked snap?

"NO YOU FORGETTIBLE ROBES!" screamed tommy r. "I'm trying tu bild the suzpenx! Simpletoms!"

"then wut iz de book called, Zorro?"

"It's called….. …. …."

"-"

"SHUTTHEFUCKUPENOBBY! …MY IMMYTOL!1111!"

I cryd.

A/N: I'll be honest: I can't read most of this. It makes ME cry. Continue on, though. Please?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Next chapter! Enjoy! ^_^**

**Previously on Charmed:** _"then wut iz de book called, Zorro?"_

_"It's called….. …. …."_

_"-"_

_"SHUTTHEFUCKUPENOBBY! …MY IMMYTOL!1111!"_

_I cryd._

**Chapter49" Mr. Immoral**

I cudnt belive it. Vlodmart had told mi 2 shurp ut. Nobbony carred about how i filt, evry1 just wunted too youse my thingy to keep thur thungy warm. I got up. And screamed.

"U FuKERS! HOW DARER YOU USE ME LIIKE A JUMPER! I HAT JUMPETS! IMMLeffing!1"

I rnu out of the Drooping Semen, and fluft into the nite.

* * *

Menwhile, at the Sezul Innuundo:

"WUT waz dat abut?1' cried dramone. "shez actin lyk a pentagram (geddit? Because I'm too non-Christian to say FUCKING 'CROSS')) betwin hurself and an evn sh1tterri vurxion of ersulf'./

"Imbecile." Said Snoop. "We have more important things to do than chase after silly girls. We must find this book."

"OMGRSZ!11" scremed Vollumtious!

"WHUT?" Crayed HOrmone?

"SNARPSPOKEUNGLUSH!111111!" Spryed TIM!

"TIIIIMMMMMMM!" evurponii iced. "WHURD U CUM FRUM?"

"I Jus puuked up a fli i swallowed in the boothrum." he said nongallantly, us iif ut exploded y he wuz dere.

"AWESsum!"go teelll

diabolo cowed. 'Lez go teelll dumberdwarf abut Mii Immortalia."

So dey all cum and withered.

* * *

WUTH EBONY!;

I flewwed aul de wuy to ther castle buy mysell. Nobudy cum fur me, so i slutted my rists and ate dem up in my room. i wuz soooooooooooo ooo oooo sadly! y did noone want t tulk to me at the inn? I growld. Becuz of tut stoopad mY immortaL!1 I sat un crieyd. Then i gutted angus. How dare they ignore me! id just hav to fund sum wy 2 dstry dere happinus so d'd buy attention to mi agin. ,, I knoO! I creamed at myself in delit! I new somehin thay would mak them alul so sad and despirate!1 Id byrrn! my Immortal! So they culd nvr talk abot how gudd it wuz again!111

**A/N:What will Ebony do? How will she do it? Will anyone understand her? Read the next upcoming chapter to find out!**

**Lucy out.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6(66): In which Santanamort haz noes role. LUL! (and nothing evil happens. Except sidhe. Because fuck they're scary. HIDE YO' CHANGELINGS!)**

I wun to the libraby to fing out wear mY Emortal wuz being hiddehn bu the daleks. but wunse i wus dere, i gutted so ditsy and nauticus. i had to leaf. wut wuz happenstance? to me? i cudnt go nere anuy bukz anymoore! wut wua dere fucknign problum?1 wut hud i evar dun to them. stopid pajus. i cum 2 mi ruum insted' and praytunded 2 suckd morr blud frum mai loopin doll (cos OMG! buy gis r so suxy und im nut a hyposhit!)  
i crud.

* * *

Dumbdedumdumdaaa pac3d his of7ic3 fl00r. s0meth1ng had started happening to h1m the m0ment grimwaldo and h1s eval min10n5 had br0ught back the n3ws of Hal0 P0rtal, 0r whut3v3r it was called. His m1nd had cleared, and he r3alised Eboner has sh1tty taste in 3verything, espedscully clothes. He kept w3aring his black goth cloves though, b3cuz he st1ll thought little whiny bitches werre goth. His mind would sometimes clear so much, that he even began to remember the old life, and how non-shitastic eveything was before Ebony C'ntnes demenziehmers... wutevar. 1t no matter. he juss wunted cheez3 pizza,v sew he culled his sev3nt boy Solid Snack, and made h1m act lyk a pizza, c0s he wus int0 thut k1nky whooping sh1tt neeway.

* * *

*** Meanwhile, in FairyLand***  
Oberon awoke to an ass-itch. He blamed Puck, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

...ON MY IMMORTAL!1...  
Jks, Oberon isn't stupid, just a sexually unfufilling partner to his gorgeous wife.  
...OMG WAIT!...

* * *

Drago brooke unto elonely's room.  
"Epony!" he cryd, "Um gong 2 sex this g1rl calld Asstoria, su fck u. BYE!"  
drabbo wait! she cryd "y r u leeving me?"  
dragon shrugged, 'felt rite nd shis nut a totl bitch. GUTH AWAY!"  
Estoner fell duwn. she didn no wut 2 du. y wuz evry1 lebbin her? she wuz so sexily!11

* * *

**A/N: And yet another sextacular chapter has been posted without Lindzey's help. *le sigh***


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